Archive for May, 2008

American Idol Season 7 (2008) – Finals

Performance Show

Good Evening, America!  Here we are… the final performances of the season.  Tonight, it’s the battle of the David’s.  The Rocker or the Tween Dream?  Which one will it be?  David “Combover” Cook or David “Stepford” Archuleta.  Only one can take the title.  After the performances tonight and two hours of filler tomorrow, we’ll know which one will take home the title.  This… is American Idol!


Tonight, our wannabes will be singing 3 songs each.  Will star power or fan power win out?  Lil’ Davie won the coin toss, so he’ll be going second.  (Smart move.  Always better to go second.  That way you are the last one the audience hears.)  My words of wisdom for our finalists… Go big or go home!


David Cook is up first with “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”, chosen by Clive Davis.  I’m not a big U2 fan, but I’m intrigued to see what he does with it.  Cook is doing a good job of matching his gruff voice with the clarity this song calls for.  He’s bringing the emotion and the power.  This is less like a performance in a competition as it is a performance at one of his concerts.  Of course, he had to do the required “Idol long last note” to finish the song.  It wouldn’t be Idol without it. 


David Archuleta is singing “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me”, also chosen by Clive Davis.  This is an uninspired choice.  Great song, but it’s a very Archuleta-esque song.  As always, he’s singing it very well, and for once he’s keeping his eyes open… but every time he does his stage-bob while he sings, I just want to hit him in the knees with a lead pipe.  Where’s Tonya Harding when you need her?  Also, I don’t believe his humble/innocent façade for one second.  He knows how good he is, and it just comes off as fake.  Fake, fake, fake. 


Simon says Round 1 goes to Archuleta.  For me, I say that’s a lie, it’s untrue, and don’t say it. 


David Cook is here for Round 2 with his choice from the song writing competition “Dream Big”.  I’m so not looking forward to another weepy crap song that no one will remember a week from now.  David has turned it into a rock song, but it kinda sounds like it could be the new finale song for “Rent”.  Of all the songs, from all the seasons, this one bothered me the least.  It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t awful.   


Davie Archuleta is singings his song writers’ choice, “In this Moment”.  A ballad?  Really?  Consider me shocked.  Just as shocked as all get out.  This is a second-rate cross between Kelly Clarkson’s “A Moment Like This” and Shania Twain’s “In this Moment”.  (Hmmm, I just noticed how elfish his ears look.  Shoot, I could have been making fun of that all season.)  I can only say that, yes, again he sang very well.  Blah.


Simon says Round 2 goes to Archuleta as well.  Just kidding, he said it went to Cook.  Just kidding, he didn’t say anything at all.  Just kidding, he did say something, but I can’t tell you.  Just kidding, I can, but I don’t want to.  Just kidding, I do, but I won’t.  Just kidding, just kidding, just kidding. 


Round 3 is Singer’s Choice.  Cook has chosen “The World I Know”.  This is the David Cook the rest of you fell in love with from the beginning.  (As we all know, I’m only rooting for him because I want Archuleta to lose.)  I would call this David Cook Unplugged.  I give him credit for showing versatility tonight with his song choices.  And him crying after he finished… that was real.  (Take a note Archuleta.)  When Ryan stands next to Cook, he looks like the leader of the lollypop guild put into a big-boy suit next to someone real-sized. 


Here is David Archuleta to sing his final and favorite song of the competition “Imagine”.  Crap.  If there was any song that would clinch the competition for him, it’s this one.  It’s not like I wish him bad things, but I do not wish him well.  Davie has not had a misstep tonight.  Unfortunately.  Performance-wise, he has won the night.  And thanks to him, we got a last minute spin on Paula’s Wheel of Random Emotion with a land on “Weepy Whiny Tears”.  And you know Simon has been waiting to use that “knock out” metaphor all night long.


Well, that’s our show for tonight.  It didn’t go exactly how I wanted it to.  I was hoping for Cook to whoop up on Archuleta and wipe the floor with him.  I don’t think it was as much of a knockout as Simon says it was, but I do agree that Stepford Archuleta won the night.  (You have no idea how much it pains me to say that.)  Now, all we can do is tune in tomorrow night to see how the votes went down.  Same Steve Time.  Same Steve Channel.

Results Show

Good Evening, America!  Here we are!  This is it!  No more voting.  No more judging.  Tonight is the night of nights.  Millions of people have waited almost 5 months for this one night.  Why is it so special, you ask?  Tonight, someone named David will be crowned this year’s American Idol.  But first, we have to get through 2 hours of filler and musical performances.  Are you ready?  Let’s check our supplies.  Ample amount of caffeine?  Check.  Seven seasons of accumulated knowledge of American Idol?  Check.  Ingrained sense of cynicism?  Check.  Sit back.  Relax.  (This is gonna take awhile.)  This… is the American Idol Season Finale!


There are celebrities everywhere!  (Too many to name)  There were 97.5 million votes last night.  (I know 1000 of those belonged to my brother.)  What the heck is Randy wearing?  His stylist must hate him a whole bunch.  One David received 56% of the vote.  The other David got 44%.  I’m sure Hillary Clinton would advise the second place David to stay in the race to the bitter end.  (You never know what could happen.  You should know that I am, of course, an American Idol Superdelegate.)   


Our Top 12 are here to perform in their standard “Up With People” white outfits doing the most complicated choreography they’ve had all season.  They’re singing “Get Ready Cause Here I Come”.  Stepford Archuleta seems to not be bothered that he doesn’t know the steps.  Brooke White, on the other hand, having had 3 weeks to learn the dance, proves to be an enthusiastic participant.  Uh-oh, those looked like illegal lifts.  Carrie Anne Inaba is going to have to deduct some points for that. 


The Davids did a quick change, and now they’re performing that song from the first Spider-Man movie.  They’re a little out of synch, and their voices aren’t exactly meshing as well as they could.  Oh well, nobody’s perfect.  Now, we’re “treated” to a promo for the new movie “Love Guru”.  As a treat, Guru Pitka graces our finalists with some last-minute mentoring.  Loved the Melrose Place reference, and the Archuleta puberty joke!  (At least Cook tried to act.  Archie just stood there doing his “adorable” shtick”.) 


Syesha is here to sing “Waiting for You” with Seal.  (Oooh, I wonder if Heidi Klum is in the audience?)  She looks phenomenal and sounds pretty good too.  Now it’s Jason Castro’s turn, and he’s singing “Hallelujah”, the song that got him into the Top 12.  Not as good as the first time he did it, but still better than most of the stuff he did all season.  Time for the final Ford Music Video to “Let the Good Times Roll”.  This is pretty much just a clip package of a behind the scenes look at all the past commercials.  Wow, Ford is able to save money and make money at the same time.  Blah.  Oh, and both finalists got Ford Escape Hybrids.  (Like they needed any more prizes.) 


Our Top 6 Girls are singings the hits of Donna Summer.  (Ramiele looks shorter than I remember.)  Most of the girls sounded great, and it almost makes me want to go see the tour.  Almost.  Donna Summer joins the girls to sing her new single “Stamp Your Feet”, then goes into her classic “Last Dance”.  This song is timeless, and it’s good to see she still has her vocal ability.  (Very jealous of Syesha right now.)


Carly Smithson and Michael Johns, the two contestants who left before they should have, are going to sing “The Letter”.  They are both in top form and proving that they should have been in the Top 5.  (I hope they both get record deals.)  That was entertaining and very impressive. 


Our Top 6 guys are rocking it out to Bryan Adams songs… well, as much as you can rock out to Bryan Adams.  (Oh look, they invited the Stripper back.)  Wow, you can really hear Michael Johns overtop of all the others.  If this is American Idol, why did they invite a Canadian to sing?  


David Cook is back to perform “Sharp Dressed Man” with ZZ Top.  He has to be in 7th Heaven right now.  This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and he’s definitely making the most of it.   Brooke is performing with Graham Nash.  (I would have preferred if they had gotten Carly Simon to perform with her, or even Carole King.  Maybe next time.)  I’m so proud of my Brooke.   


Yay!  It’s “We Are Brothers Forever”!!!  My all-time favorite performance of the season!  Love the band and cheerleaders!  Paula, Randy, and Ryan joining in was just the icing on the cake!  Yay!  That was awesome!


Oh, and David Archuleta sings with One Republic.  That was just painful.  One Republic did very well.  And Davie did well by himself.  Together, it was awful.  Just awful.


(If you feel that I’ve missed talking about certain things, you’re right.  I’m fast-forwarding through a lot.)  The Top 12 are here for the last time before results.  They are singing the greatest hits of George Michael.  Amanda Overmeyer doesn’t even seem like she’s trying.  I forgot that the Stripper was actually a very good singer.  (Take a note future wannabes, this is what scandal will get you.  Early ejection and no possibility of a career.)  And no surprise to anyone, George Michael is here as well.  (I loved him on Eli Stone this season.)


Now, finally to the results.  Randy rambles on about nothing, Paula cries, and Simon admits that Cook did better last night than he gave them credit for.  So, here it is.  Ryan has the envelope.  (The tension is bearable.)  The winner, by 12 million votes, of American Idol Season 2008 is David… (We all knew that part.) What?!!  My DVR just stopped!  I have no clue who just won!  You’ve got to be friggin’ kidding me.  This is the worst thing EVER!  (Big sweeping hand motion)  Hold on for a second while I call my brother.  Okay, got it.


The winner, by 12 million votes, of American Idol Season 2008 is David… Cook!!  Seriously?!!  Yay!  (Take that Stepford Archuleta!)  Cook is experiencing Shock and Awe.  He blames his brother and calls the rest of the Top 12 to join him for his final song.  It’s everything you could possibly want and dread in an Idol coronation ballad. 


Well, that’s our show for this season.  The right person won, which is always good.  I want to thank all my readers for another great season.  I hope you had as much fun as I did.  Come back next January when we’ll do it all again.  Same Steve Time.  Same Steve Channel.


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American Idol Season 7 (2008) – Top 3

Performance Show

Good Evening, America!  We’re down to the Final 3, and part of me says I couldn’t care less.  I don’t know if I’ve ever been this apathetic about who wins.  I know who I don’t want to win.  (I’m looking at you, Stepford Archuleta.)  This week, our wannabes will be singing 3 songs.  1 chosen by the judges, 1 chosen by the producers, and 1 chosen by themselves.  (Or in the case or the Tween Dream… his father.)  So, let’s get down to it.  This… is American Idol!

First up, David Archuleta.  Paula has chosen “And So It Goes” by Billy Joel.  He starts off solo and soft, and then the orchestra joins in.  After this many weeks, he can’t help closing his eyes, but he did the same thing during his run on Star Search so I shouldn’t be too surprised.  Of course, he sang it well, but he is boring and emotionless for me.  (Say it with me, “Down with Archuleta!”)

Next, we have Syesha.  Randy has chosen “If I Ain’t Got You” by Alicia Keys.  (Great song)  This song is perfectly suited to Syesha’s range and vocal style.  I’m not sure what happened to her, but in the past 3 weeks, she finally learned how to show personality and emotion while singing.  It’s made all the difference in her performances.  This was no exception.  Good job, girl!

The last singer for our first round is David Cook.  Simon has chosen “First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” by Roberta Flack.  He’s decided not to really change it up, but that’s okay because it’s a phenomenal song.  It’s definitely out of his comfort zone, and it lets us see how far he can reach.  (Either that’s his mom in the audience, or David has his first Cougar.  You decide.)  He did an amazing job, and I liked how it developed an edge to it at the end. 

Back again, it’s everyone’s favorite little robot.  This time, he chose “With You” by Chris Brown.  (He looks a little lost.  Has he been hanging out with Jason Castro before the show?)  I absolutely love this song, but I’m not sure Davie has the edge or the life experience to make this believable.  It’s kinda like watching an 8 year old sing “Baby Got Back”.  Or me in a pair of red leather cowboy boots.  Cute, but doesn’t really work. 

Syesha has returned, and she’s chosen to sing “Fever” by Peggy Lee.  This is a hot song, and the chair promises a hot performance.  Our cute little actress has turned into a sultry seductress.  She used her lower register well, and on the big notes, she showed restraint by not going over the top.  (Oh look!  It’s Justin Guarini and Rebecca, the fake Walker, from Brothers & Sisters!) It did lean toward the cabaret side of things, but I think it showed her range better than Archuleta’s attempt at being a playa.

Closing out the second round is David Cooking, singing “Dare You to Move” by Switchfoot.  It started a little flat, off-key, and dead.  Once it kicked into gear, it got progressively better, but I don’t think he ever found the right pitch.  It was rough.  Yeah, I think that’s the best way to put it. 

For our third round, the producers have chosen the songs.  Davie gets to sing “Longer”.  It’s another predictable, life-affirming, feel-good ballad.  Blah.  I must say, he does sing the prettiest music to slit your wrists to. 

Syesha’s producer’s choice song is “Hit Me Up”.  If her career as a recording artist doesn’t go anywhere, with that hip action, she could do quite well on “Dancing with the Stars”.  The judges seem to be totally against her getting into the Finals.  Personally, I’d like to see a David Cook/Syesha finale.  Unfortunately, I think a gaggle of 12 year old girls may have more to say about that than I do.  Whatever happens, Syesha should be proud of the progress she has made this season. 

David Cook is closing the show with “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”.  Ugh.  I’m still not ready for this or the Titanic song to come back.  He’s doing much better this time around.  David’s hitting the right vocal and emotional notes.  I thoroughly enjoyed that.  What a way to close the show! 

That’s our show for this evening.  First, I just want to ask that we get Clive Davis back next year to choose the 3rd round songs.  The producers’ choices sucked out loud.  Second, I agree with Simon… David Cook won the night.  I’m not sure how much that means though.  Lil’ Davie could have an army of voters, and it could be between Syesha and Cook as to who goes home.  One thing I can say with certainty: someone named David will be in the Finals of American Idol.  Call me crazy, but that’s what I believe.  Tune in tomorrow night to see how it all goes down.  Same Steve Time.  Same Steve Channel.

Results Show

Good Evening, America!  Here we are!  The results for the Final 3!  Tonight, we find out whether Syesha will be joining one of the Davids in the finals or whether it will be an all David finale.  (Perish the thought.)  We have an hour of filler to get through, including trips back to everyone’s hometowns.  So, on with the show.  This… is American Idol!

Here to waste some time… I mean to entertain us… is our Final 3 singings “Ain’t No Stopping Us Now”.  Archuleta is really playing to the audience.  Isn’t that right, boo?  (See, it’s ridiculous when I say it too.)  This is a very “Up with People” performance.  If this were an All-State Talent Show from 1974, I’m sure that performance would have been great.  But since it isn’t, it wasn’t.

We go immediately to the Ford Music Video set to the song “Heaven”.  Our Idols visit a fortune teller where they all see glimpses of what fame and stardom could be for them.  Funny enough, in all of them, they are driving Ford cars.  Nothing against the Ford Motor Company, but if I ever hit it big, I would probably hire a driver.  (Do you hear that Britney?  Hire someone to drive you around.  As Smokey the Bear would say, “Only you can prevent stupid car accidents.”) 

Coming back home, our 3rd American Idol, Fantasia is here to sing “Bore Me”.  (With a song title like that, I’m guessing she watched this season of Big Brother.)  I much prefer Fantasia doing this style of music compared to what she released on her first cd.  Girl, now that’s how you work a stage.  Something you could always say about Fantasia, she was never boring when she performed. 

On to the drama.  Stepford Archuleta is the first one to hear his fate… or not.  Now we have to suffer through Davie’s homecoming.  To sum it up quickly, there were about a kabillion girls screaming for David, and he got overwhelmed and started crying like one of them.  (If he said ‘gosh’ one more time, I was going to reach through the tv and stab him.)  Hey Mr. Mayor, nice handlebar moustache.  (That just screams, ‘Trust me with your city.’) 

Next up, Syesha, who headed back home to Sarasota, FL.  (Which happens to be where my family is, and where I’m headed tomorrow!)  The whole city showed up to see her, and one woman tried to shove her baby off on Syesha.  (That is not responsible parenting.)  Syesha performed on the grand terrace of Ca d’Zan, the mansion of John Ringling, the creator of Ringling Bros. Circus.  (I’ve totally been there.) 

Finally, we follow David Cook as he heads home to Blue Springs, MO.  Wow, he definitely has a diverse fanbase.  And it turns out, I was wrong last night, that was his mom in the audience and not a Cougar after all.  My bad.  Sorry. 

After 54 minutes of filler, it’s finally time for the results.  (I’m still sticking with my prediction that someone named David will be in the finals.  I have a very strong feeling about that.)  After 56 million votes, America has decided that the two people going head to head in the finale are David Archuleta (booooooh!) and David Cook.  (As much as I hoped for a different result, we all saw this coming weeks ago.  Sorry Syesha.)  That’s our show for this evening.  I’m begging all of you, here and now, please vote for David Cook next week.  I can’t stress this enough.  Yes, he and I have had our differences, but now we have a common enemy.  So, next Tuesday, take out your phones and help us crush the Tween Dream.  Same Steve Time.  Same Steve Channel.

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American Idol Season 7 (2008) – Top 4

Performance Show

Good Evening, America!  Here we are… slowly stumbling towards the end of the season.  We’re down to the Davids… and two other people who won’t be in the finale.  Because Brooke was voted off the island last week, I don’t have to worry about voting an obscene number of times tonight.  (Makes getting through the show so much faster.)  Tonight, our wannabes are doing songs from the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.  (A.k.a. someplace they will never be.)  Let’s get on with it.  This… is American Idol!

David Cook is starting the show tonight with “Hungry Like the Wolf” by Duran Duran.  (I love this song.  Actually, I love anything from the 80’s.)  He’s not doing anything new or different with the song, which is fine.  It’s great the way it is.  But the reason this was fun was because of the song… not because of him.  It seemed like he just learned the words and spurted them out.  There was nothing special about this at all.  I expected more from him.

Syesha is up next with “Proud Mary” by Tina Turner.  (Yay!  One of my all-time favorites!)  She’s got a very Tina-esque outfit tonight.  Syesha started out sultry and slow, just like she’s supposed to… and then she kicked it into gear and worked out the dance moves!  She’s no Tina, but that was good and that was fun.  Good job, girl!

Jason Castro is third with “I Shot the Sheriff” by Bob Marley.  (Look, there’s Carly!)  I don’t know why I’m surprised that he’s singing something by Bob Marley.  For the first time in weeks, he’s putting some effort into his performance.  It’s not the bland mess we’ve gotten used to.  It wasn’t great by any stretch of the imagination, but it was soooo much better than his last few.

Stepford Archuleta is here to finish off the first round.  He’s singing “Stand by Me”.  (Ugh.  I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.)  Of course, he has the vocal ability to do this and do this well.  (I really wish that when he closes his eyes next time, one of the Mosh Pit would reach out and trip him.  Now that would be funny!)  So, good job.  Whatever.  I’m so over him.

David Cook is back to start the second round with something by The Who.  (Sorry.  I only half pay attention when he’s speaking.)  This song is much better suited for David.  Much closer to something I could see on his cd.  (Not that I would buy it.)

Syesha returns to sing “A Change Has Got to Come” by Sam Cook.  Uh-oh, Diva Syesha has returned.  Girl, you know you’ve never been good at the whole singing while standing still thing.  (Her Oscar dress is lovely, though.)  She decided to push for the big notes, and it worked.  They were powerful and amazing.  Unfortunately, in the softer sections, her performance was not supported by her lower register.    Thankfully, it’s all made better by “Paula’s Wheel of Random Emotion” which lands on “Dueling Tears” as Syesha and Paula attempt to drown the Mosh Pit.  

Jason Castro is third in our second round with “Mr. Tambourine Man” by Bob Dylan.  (For those of you who don’t know, this song is a code about drugs, and Mr. Tambourine Man is the drug dealer.  Listen to it again if you don’t believe me.  Hmmm, first he sings a Bob Marley song.  Then he sings “Mr. Tambourine Man”.  Does anyone else see a theme here?)  Uh-oh!  He forgot the words.  If we weren’t running late on time, he totally could have pulled a Brooke and started over.  I think this was Jason’s swan song.  If he gets saved after tonight, those are the most powerful blue eyes EVER!  (Big sweeping hand motion.) 

David Archuleta, the Tween Dream, is closing the show with “Love Me Tender” by Elvis Presley.  Seriously?  Seriously.  Okay, too annoyed to actually watch, but I’m sure this is how it went.  Good vocals.  Blah, blah, blah.  Eye contact with the audience.  Blah, blah, blah.  People clap.  Girls swoon.

So, that’s our show for this evening.  Overall, I really wasn’t impressed.  The Davids came out on top once again.  Syesha solidified her 3rd place finish.  And Jason Castro sealed his own fate.  If there is a Kristy Lee Cook Duo, it will be Syesha and Jason.  (But I think even Syesha and Jason know that by now.)  So, tune in tomorrow to find out which one of them goes home.  Same Steve Time.  Same Steve Channel.

Results Show

Good Evening, America!  Here we are.  The Quarter Final Results.  One of the singers we’ve come to know and loathe… oops, I mean love… has sung their last song in the competition.  They will join the 5 others who must make do with merely being on the tour.  (Except Brooke of course… because she’ll have a record deal.  And that’s my own deluded reality, so don’t ruin it for me.)  I’m tired, so let’s quickly make our way through the filler.  This… is American Idol!

Before we get to any semblance of results, our Final 4 are here to sing for us with “Reeling in the Years”.  This just has mediocre written all over it.  At least the Muppet Idol remembered his words tonight.  Too bad Syesha couldn’t remember her blocking though.  (Because, as you could see, those were some complicated dance steps.)  That was not enjoyable at all.  (Oh look!  There’s Judge Judy and Carly Smithson!)  Well, there’s 3 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.

Now, on to the results.  First up, David Archuleta.  He does a good job of faking being nervous, but of course, he’s safe.  (Honestly, as I’ve said before, I don’t know why they just don’t let him start on the couch at the beginning of the night.  I think it insults our intelligence to try to make us think he may be in danger.)  Next is David Cook.  He joins the other David on the Safety Couch.  (Again, you don’t have to be part of the Psychic Friends Network to know that that was how it was going to go down.)  That leaves Syesha and Jason as our Kristy Lee Cook Duo.  (Raise your hand if you’re shocked.  Anyone?  Yeah, me neither.)

Time for the Ford Music Video to “Ring of Fire” where our Idols pretend they are matadors.  I love love LOVE Syesha in her outfit.  She’s hardcore!  Stepford Archuleta looks weak.  Is it wrong that I was rooting for the car to hit him?  Castro kind looks like a deer caught in headlights.  If that were a bull, it would have torn him a new one. 

Phone call time again.  (I’m growing tired of this.)  Here’s what we learned:  David Cook has a scary stalker in Pittsburgh, Jason Castro’s biggest challenge is overcoming being a burnout, and Simon is a little pissy that he hasn’t been knighted by the Queen but would settle for being James Bond.

Okay, we’re down to the end.  (Yes, I skipped over a lot, but you didn’t miss anything.  Trust me.)  Jason or Syesha?  Syesha or Jason?  Will Syesha skate by once again or will Jason’s big blue eyes cause her luck to run out?  The blue eyes aren’t as powerful as our resident stoner thought, because he’s goin’ home!  Syesha has rightly made it into the Final 3! 

Well, that’s our show for this evening.  America completely got it right this week.  It was time for Jason to go home, and I think even he knew that, or maybe he didn’t.  (With the way his eyes looked tonight, you can’t tell what he thought was reality or just a hallucination.)  Now we’re down to the semi-finals.  Next week, expect lots of filler from when our Idols go home to visit their families and are awarded keys to the city.  Then they’ll be singing 3 songs each.  Should be an ‘interesting’ week.  You know where to see it.  Same Steve Time.  Same Steve Channel.

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American Idol Season 7 (2008) – Top 5

Performance Show

Good Evening, America!  After last week’s shocking results, I’m not sure what to expect tonight.  Already, I’m not too excited that the theme is Neil Diamond.  (Yawn.)  But, who knows… this could be as surprising as the Mariah Carey week.  With this show, you never can tell.  We’re down to the Top 5, so things are getting intense.  Soon, we’ll find out whether David or David wins it all.  Well, I guess there’s nothing left to do but to get on with it.  This… is American Idol!

This week, our Idols will be doing 2 songs each.  The only good thing about that is that it means there is less time for useless filler.  They’ll each be judged after their second performance. 

First up, Jason Castro is singing “Forever in Blue Jeans”.  This music is perfect for Jason.  It’s easy.  It’s mellow.  He’s ready for his starring gig at Central Perk.  It wasn’t awful.  It wasn’t great.  Mainly it was just bland.  If he were standing outside the subway, I would definitely toss him a few coins. 

David Cook is next singing “I’m Alive ”.  (Most of the songs we hear tonight, I’m sure I’ve never heard before.)  This one is at least better than Jason’s.  (Is it me, or do the songs seem extremely short?)  I would call this David Cook-lite.  It wants to rock, but then it realizes that it’s a Neil Diamond song, and stops just short of being cool.

Brooke White is doing “I’m a Believer”.  She’s our third Idol to use the guitar this evening.  (This song gives me Shrek flashbacks.)  Definitely a step out of Brooke’s comfort zone, but it seemed to work for her.  (With this song and that background, I kept waiting for Scooby, Shaggy, and the Gang to come running by during a chase scene.)  She had energy and bounce, but I have a feeling she’s going to get slammed for this performance.  (I better start dialing now.)

Up next, the other David is singing “Sweet Caroline”.  (Is anyone shocked at all with his two song choices.  Anyone?  Yeah, me neither.)  Technically, he’s singing this very well, but he’s taking all the cheesy fun out of it.  (And I swear to God, if the mosh pit doesn’t start waving their arms in synch, I’m going to hop up on that stage and chop off all their hands with a chainsaw.  I think the sight of them waving bloody stumps out of synch would be much less distracting.)

Syesha is last for our first round.  She is singing “Hello Again”.  Girlfriend needs to be worried.  She was in the Kristy Lee Cook Duo last week, so she needs a big week to ensure her safety.  The problem with Syesha is that she always starts out well, showcasing her vocal abilities admirably, but she can’t help going for notes and runs that are beyond her.  Overall, she does well, but if she toned down the ‘diva in training’ bit, she would be amazing.

And, I don’t even know what to say about Paula critiquing both of Jason Castro’s songs when he had only sung one.  There just aren’t words.

Jason Castro is back with his second song “September Morn”.  (Do you hear that Paula?  This is his second song.)  Actually, I think this one is a big improvement over his last one.  It was slow and soft, but this one seemed to have emotion.  I’m not saying I loved it or it was great.  It was safe, and he doesn’t seem to be trying anymore.  (I’m not sure if his big blue eyes are going to be enough to save him this week.)

David Cook’s second song is “All I Really Need is You”.  He definitely changed the arrangement, and it worked for him.  He made a Neil Diamond song sound contemporary and interesting.  I have to give him a lot of credit for this performance.  (Still doesn’t mean I like him.)

Brooke White is back with her second song “I Am I Said”.  She’s using the piano this time around.  She’s off to a good start, and by that I mean she remembered her words and didn’t have to start over.  This is the Brooke I know and love.  She’s connecting emotionally with the song and the audience, her vocals are on, and I thought it was wonderful.  She should definitely be safe this week.  (I’m still going to call a lot just to make sure.)

David Archuleta is back to sing the song we all knew he’d choose, “America”.  (And if you go to one of my past blogs, I’m sure you’ll see that I totally called it.)  This song was made for his brand of over-acting.  There is nothing subtle about this song or his performance.  It’s meant to be over the top, and David delivers there.  (I hate to say it, but I would rather see David Cook win this than him.)

Syesha is here to close the show with “Thank the Lord for the Nighttime”.  Definitely a fun song, and it’s good to see more of her personality again.  (So tired of her standing and over-singing a ballad.)  Of course, she had to go for the big note at the end, but this time she hit it.  I would love to see more of this type of Syesha than the other. 

Well, that’s our show for this evening.  It was just all over the place, wasn’t it?  Taking part in our Kristy Lee Cook Duo this week will most likely be Jason Castro and Syesha.  Jason for his performances.  Syesha for her lack of popularity.  Who goes home is anyone’s guess.  But you know where to go to find out.  Same Steve Time.  Same Steve Channel.

Results Show

Good Evening, America! Another week down, and another future star has to go home. It was an… “interesting” show last night. Definitely not my favorite week, and I blame a lot of that on the theme. We’re getting down to the end, so I hope they have some pretty stellar things left to close the season. But, before we get to the rest of the season, we have to get through tonight. Who will stay? Who will go? Let’s find out together. This… is American Idol!

Did everyone spot Kristy Lee Cook in the audience? Is she here because she gets free tickets or because she misses being part of the Kristy Lee Cook Trio… now Duo? So, there were 45 million votes last night… hmmm. I promise that I was only about 1 million of those. Tops.

The Top 5 are here to do a tribute to Neil Diamond. (I almost want to fast forward now.) The choreography is cheese-tastic. That’s pretty much the only thing saving this from being, as Simon would say, a nightmare. It’s still not good. Not by a long shot. No one’s mics are at the same volume level, and it makes the performance seem haphazard and like something right out of a high school talent show.

There’s Gina and Constantine! (I know Mom is happy to see Constantine.) They are doing a show on FOX Reality. (I don’t think I have FOX Reality, but, honestly, I don’t need to watch any more reality TV than I already am.) And just to clear the air about the Paula rumors… she is not being replaced. She is here to stay. According to Simon, the judges sat in on the rehearsals yesterday and took notes on both of their performances then. When the judges were asked after the first round last night, Paula got flustered and read her notes she had made on both performances from earlier during rehearsals. Believe it or don’t, but that’s the gospel according to Simon.

On to our results. First up, Jason Castro. Safety Couch or Kristy Lee Cook Duo? (Unless his big blue eyes have more power than I think, he should be in the Kristy Lee Cook Duo.) Somehow, he is safe. (Here I am guessing again, but I believe that puts Syesha and Brooke in danger now.) Next is David Archuleta, the Tween Dream. (Honestly, they should just let him start the show on the couch and stay there.) Of course, he is safe. (Shock of all shocks.)

Back to results. David Cook is called out to the center of the stage. (Unless something dramatic is happening, he’ll be safe and Brooke and Syesha will have to wait till after the musical performances to learn their fate.) Nothing dramatic, he is safe. Now, it’s down to the two girls. One will be the last woman standing. (Crossed fingers for Brooke, but I’ve come to terms with her not winning.)

I love Natasha Bedingfield, but I’m fast-forwarding. (It’s a fun song though.) Ugh, back to the phone calls. Things we learned: Paula is a giver, Paula and Randy are going to do another music video but this time he’ll be an animated Dawg, and Simon was macking on girls at an early age. Time for the Ford Music Video to “Catch the Wind”. It’s a high-five fest of an episode of Idols Give Back where they use magical powers to “greenify” the world. (I think this is in response to the environmentally unfriendly video they did a few weeks ago where they dumped paint all over the Los Angeles River.) Now to Neil Diamond. (Fast forward.)

Back to our results. Syesha or Brooke. Brooke or Syesha. (This time last week, I thought it was going to be Syesha leaving us, and I was wrong. She’ll probably skate by again.) The person leaving us this evening is… Brooke. Bah! Not at all what I wanted to happen, but I knew it was going to happen soon. As I said, I had already come to terms with it. And thank you America for at least allowing my goal of her making it to the Top 5 to come true. (Now, I’ll just wait patiently for her cd to come out.)

Well, that’s our show for this week. Come back next week for our Rock n Roll Hall of Fame show… and also to see what Paula does next. (Maybe we can bring Paula’s Wheel of Random Emotion out of retirement?) Same Steve Time. Same Steve Channel.

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