Performance Show
Good Evening, America! We’re down to the Final 3, and part of me says I couldn’t care less. I don’t know if I’ve ever been this apathetic about who wins. I know who I don’t want to win. (I’m looking at you, Stepford Archuleta.) This week, our wannabes will be singing 3 songs. 1 chosen by the judges, 1 chosen by the producers, and 1 chosen by themselves. (Or in the case or the Tween Dream… his father.) So, let’s get down to it. This… is American Idol!
First up, David Archuleta. Paula has chosen “And So It Goes” by Billy Joel. He starts off solo and soft, and then the orchestra joins in. After this many weeks, he can’t help closing his eyes, but he did the same thing during his run on Star Search so I shouldn’t be too surprised. Of course, he sang it well, but he is boring and emotionless for me. (Say it with me, “Down with Archuleta!”)
Next, we have Syesha. Randy has chosen “If I Ain’t Got You” by Alicia Keys. (Great song) This song is perfectly suited to Syesha’s range and vocal style. I’m not sure what happened to her, but in the past 3 weeks, she finally learned how to show personality and emotion while singing. It’s made all the difference in her performances. This was no exception. Good job, girl!
The last singer for our first round is David Cook. Simon has chosen “First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” by Roberta Flack. He’s decided not to really change it up, but that’s okay because it’s a phenomenal song. It’s definitely out of his comfort zone, and it lets us see how far he can reach. (Either that’s his mom in the audience, or David has his first Cougar. You decide.) He did an amazing job, and I liked how it developed an edge to it at the end.
Back again, it’s everyone’s favorite little robot. This time, he chose “With You” by Chris Brown. (He looks a little lost. Has he been hanging out with Jason Castro before the show?) I absolutely love this song, but I’m not sure Davie has the edge or the life experience to make this believable. It’s kinda like watching an 8 year old sing “Baby Got Back”. Or me in a pair of red leather cowboy boots. Cute, but doesn’t really work.
Syesha has returned, and she’s chosen to sing “Fever” by Peggy Lee. This is a hot song, and the chair promises a hot performance. Our cute little actress has turned into a sultry seductress. She used her lower register well, and on the big notes, she showed restraint by not going over the top. (Oh look! It’s Justin Guarini and Rebecca, the fake Walker, from Brothers & Sisters!) It did lean toward the cabaret side of things, but I think it showed her range better than Archuleta’s attempt at being a playa.
Closing out the second round is David Cooking, singing “Dare You to Move” by Switchfoot. It started a little flat, off-key, and dead. Once it kicked into gear, it got progressively better, but I don’t think he ever found the right pitch. It was rough. Yeah, I think that’s the best way to put it.
For our third round, the producers have chosen the songs. Davie gets to sing “Longer”. It’s another predictable, life-affirming, feel-good ballad. Blah. I must say, he does sing the prettiest music to slit your wrists to.
Syesha’s producer’s choice song is “Hit Me Up”. If her career as a recording artist doesn’t go anywhere, with that hip action, she could do quite well on “Dancing with the Stars”. The judges seem to be totally against her getting into the Finals. Personally, I’d like to see a David Cook/Syesha finale. Unfortunately, I think a gaggle of 12 year old girls may have more to say about that than I do. Whatever happens, Syesha should be proud of the progress she has made this season.
David Cook is closing the show with “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”. Ugh. I’m still not ready for this or the Titanic song to come back. He’s doing much better this time around. David’s hitting the right vocal and emotional notes. I thoroughly enjoyed that. What a way to close the show!
That’s our show for this evening. First, I just want to ask that we get Clive Davis back next year to choose the 3rd round songs. The producers’ choices sucked out loud. Second, I agree with Simon… David Cook won the night. I’m not sure how much that means though. Lil’ Davie could have an army of voters, and it could be between Syesha and Cook as to who goes home. One thing I can say with certainty: someone named David will be in the Finals of American Idol. Call me crazy, but that’s what I believe. Tune in tomorrow night to see how it all goes down. Same Steve Time. Same Steve Channel.
Results Show
Good Evening, America! Here we are! The results for the Final 3! Tonight, we find out whether Syesha will be joining one of the Davids in the finals or whether it will be an all David finale. (Perish the thought.) We have an hour of filler to get through, including trips back to everyone’s hometowns. So, on with the show. This… is American Idol!
Here to waste some time… I mean to entertain us… is our Final 3 singings “Ain’t No Stopping Us Now”. Archuleta is really playing to the audience. Isn’t that right, boo? (See, it’s ridiculous when I say it too.) This is a very “Up with People” performance. If this were an All-State Talent Show from 1974, I’m sure that performance would have been great. But since it isn’t, it wasn’t.
We go immediately to the Ford Music Video set to the song “Heaven”. Our Idols visit a fortune teller where they all see glimpses of what fame and stardom could be for them. Funny enough, in all of them, they are driving Ford cars. Nothing against the Ford Motor Company, but if I ever hit it big, I would probably hire a driver. (Do you hear that Britney? Hire someone to drive you around. As Smokey the Bear would say, “Only you can prevent stupid car accidents.”)
Coming back home, our 3rd American Idol, Fantasia is here to sing “Bore Me”. (With a song title like that, I’m guessing she watched this season of Big Brother.) I much prefer Fantasia doing this style of music compared to what she released on her first cd. Girl, now that’s how you work a stage. Something you could always say about Fantasia, she was never boring when she performed.
On to the drama. Stepford Archuleta is the first one to hear his fate… or not. Now we have to suffer through Davie’s homecoming. To sum it up quickly, there were about a kabillion girls screaming for David, and he got overwhelmed and started crying like one of them. (If he said ‘gosh’ one more time, I was going to reach through the tv and stab him.) Hey Mr. Mayor, nice handlebar moustache. (That just screams, ‘Trust me with your city.’)
Next up, Syesha, who headed back home to Sarasota, FL. (Which happens to be where my family is, and where I’m headed tomorrow!) The whole city showed up to see her, and one woman tried to shove her baby off on Syesha. (That is not responsible parenting.) Syesha performed on the grand terrace of Ca d’Zan, the mansion of John Ringling, the creator of Ringling Bros. Circus. (I’ve totally been there.)
Finally, we follow David Cook as he heads home to Blue Springs, MO. Wow, he definitely has a diverse fanbase. And it turns out, I was wrong last night, that was his mom in the audience and not a Cougar after all. My bad. Sorry.
After 54 minutes of filler, it’s finally time for the results. (I’m still sticking with my prediction that someone named David will be in the finals. I have a very strong feeling about that.) After 56 million votes, America has decided that the two people going head to head in the finale are David Archuleta (booooooh!) and David Cook. (As much as I hoped for a different result, we all saw this coming weeks ago. Sorry Syesha.) That’s our show for this evening. I’m begging all of you, here and now, please vote for David Cook next week. I can’t stress this enough. Yes, he and I have had our differences, but now we have a common enemy. So, next Tuesday, take out your phones and help us crush the Tween Dream. Same Steve Time. Same Steve Channel.