Performance Show

Good Evening, America!  Here we are… slowly stumbling towards the end of the season.  We’re down to the Davids… and two other people who won’t be in the finale.  Because Brooke was voted off the island last week, I don’t have to worry about voting an obscene number of times tonight.  (Makes getting through the show so much faster.)  Tonight, our wannabes are doing songs from the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.  (A.k.a. someplace they will never be.)  Let’s get on with it.  This… is American Idol!

David Cook is starting the show tonight with “Hungry Like the Wolf” by Duran Duran.  (I love this song.  Actually, I love anything from the 80’s.)  He’s not doing anything new or different with the song, which is fine.  It’s great the way it is.  But the reason this was fun was because of the song… not because of him.  It seemed like he just learned the words and spurted them out.  There was nothing special about this at all.  I expected more from him.

Syesha is up next with “Proud Mary” by Tina Turner.  (Yay!  One of my all-time favorites!)  She’s got a very Tina-esque outfit tonight.  Syesha started out sultry and slow, just like she’s supposed to… and then she kicked it into gear and worked out the dance moves!  She’s no Tina, but that was good and that was fun.  Good job, girl!

Jason Castro is third with “I Shot the Sheriff” by Bob Marley.  (Look, there’s Carly!)  I don’t know why I’m surprised that he’s singing something by Bob Marley.  For the first time in weeks, he’s putting some effort into his performance.  It’s not the bland mess we’ve gotten used to.  It wasn’t great by any stretch of the imagination, but it was soooo much better than his last few.

Stepford Archuleta is here to finish off the first round.  He’s singing “Stand by Me”.  (Ugh.  I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.)  Of course, he has the vocal ability to do this and do this well.  (I really wish that when he closes his eyes next time, one of the Mosh Pit would reach out and trip him.  Now that would be funny!)  So, good job.  Whatever.  I’m so over him.

David Cook is back to start the second round with something by The Who.  (Sorry.  I only half pay attention when he’s speaking.)  This song is much better suited for David.  Much closer to something I could see on his cd.  (Not that I would buy it.)

Syesha returns to sing “A Change Has Got to Come” by Sam Cook.  Uh-oh, Diva Syesha has returned.  Girl, you know you’ve never been good at the whole singing while standing still thing.  (Her Oscar dress is lovely, though.)  She decided to push for the big notes, and it worked.  They were powerful and amazing.  Unfortunately, in the softer sections, her performance was not supported by her lower register.    Thankfully, it’s all made better by “Paula’s Wheel of Random Emotion” which lands on “Dueling Tears” as Syesha and Paula attempt to drown the Mosh Pit.  

Jason Castro is third in our second round with “Mr. Tambourine Man” by Bob Dylan.  (For those of you who don’t know, this song is a code about drugs, and Mr. Tambourine Man is the drug dealer.  Listen to it again if you don’t believe me.  Hmmm, first he sings a Bob Marley song.  Then he sings “Mr. Tambourine Man”.  Does anyone else see a theme here?)  Uh-oh!  He forgot the words.  If we weren’t running late on time, he totally could have pulled a Brooke and started over.  I think this was Jason’s swan song.  If he gets saved after tonight, those are the most powerful blue eyes EVER!  (Big sweeping hand motion.) 

David Archuleta, the Tween Dream, is closing the show with “Love Me Tender” by Elvis Presley.  Seriously?  Seriously.  Okay, too annoyed to actually watch, but I’m sure this is how it went.  Good vocals.  Blah, blah, blah.  Eye contact with the audience.  Blah, blah, blah.  People clap.  Girls swoon.

So, that’s our show for this evening.  Overall, I really wasn’t impressed.  The Davids came out on top once again.  Syesha solidified her 3rd place finish.  And Jason Castro sealed his own fate.  If there is a Kristy Lee Cook Duo, it will be Syesha and Jason.  (But I think even Syesha and Jason know that by now.)  So, tune in tomorrow to find out which one of them goes home.  Same Steve Time.  Same Steve Channel.

Results Show

Good Evening, America!  Here we are.  The Quarter Final Results.  One of the singers we’ve come to know and loathe… oops, I mean love… has sung their last song in the competition.  They will join the 5 others who must make do with merely being on the tour.  (Except Brooke of course… because she’ll have a record deal.  And that’s my own deluded reality, so don’t ruin it for me.)  I’m tired, so let’s quickly make our way through the filler.  This… is American Idol!

Before we get to any semblance of results, our Final 4 are here to sing for us with “Reeling in the Years”.  This just has mediocre written all over it.  At least the Muppet Idol remembered his words tonight.  Too bad Syesha couldn’t remember her blocking though.  (Because, as you could see, those were some complicated dance steps.)  That was not enjoyable at all.  (Oh look!  There’s Judge Judy and Carly Smithson!)  Well, there’s 3 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.

Now, on to the results.  First up, David Archuleta.  He does a good job of faking being nervous, but of course, he’s safe.  (Honestly, as I’ve said before, I don’t know why they just don’t let him start on the couch at the beginning of the night.  I think it insults our intelligence to try to make us think he may be in danger.)  Next is David Cook.  He joins the other David on the Safety Couch.  (Again, you don’t have to be part of the Psychic Friends Network to know that that was how it was going to go down.)  That leaves Syesha and Jason as our Kristy Lee Cook Duo.  (Raise your hand if you’re shocked.  Anyone?  Yeah, me neither.)

Time for the Ford Music Video to “Ring of Fire” where our Idols pretend they are matadors.  I love love LOVE Syesha in her outfit.  She’s hardcore!  Stepford Archuleta looks weak.  Is it wrong that I was rooting for the car to hit him?  Castro kind looks like a deer caught in headlights.  If that were a bull, it would have torn him a new one. 

Phone call time again.  (I’m growing tired of this.)  Here’s what we learned:  David Cook has a scary stalker in Pittsburgh, Jason Castro’s biggest challenge is overcoming being a burnout, and Simon is a little pissy that he hasn’t been knighted by the Queen but would settle for being James Bond.

Okay, we’re down to the end.  (Yes, I skipped over a lot, but you didn’t miss anything.  Trust me.)  Jason or Syesha?  Syesha or Jason?  Will Syesha skate by once again or will Jason’s big blue eyes cause her luck to run out?  The blue eyes aren’t as powerful as our resident stoner thought, because he’s goin’ home!  Syesha has rightly made it into the Final 3! 

Well, that’s our show for this evening.  America completely got it right this week.  It was time for Jason to go home, and I think even he knew that, or maybe he didn’t.  (With the way his eyes looked tonight, you can’t tell what he thought was reality or just a hallucination.)  Now we’re down to the semi-finals.  Next week, expect lots of filler from when our Idols go home to visit their families and are awarded keys to the city.  Then they’ll be singing 3 songs each.  Should be an ‘interesting’ week.  You know where to see it.  Same Steve Time.  Same Steve Channel.