Performance Show

Good Evening, America! Spring is finally kinda here, but instead of love being in the air… it’s country music. (And I don’t mean the theme to “Deliverance”.) Tonight, none other than living legend and Country Music Icon Dolly Parton will be mentoring our Idols. They’ll also be singing Dolly songs. Now, I’m sure there are some of you that aren’t big country fans, but who doesn’t love Dolly? Even my mother, who swears that country music makes her want to go all Vincent van Gogh on her ears, likes Dolly Parton. So, sit back, relax, and prepare yourself for a boot-scootin’, honky-tonkin’ night. This… is American Idol!
 
Ryan starts the show with an extremely lame April Fool’s Joke. (Sometimes I just really hate him.) We’re treated to a great package about Dolly. She seems so genuine and nice… somebody you could sit down to dinner with and have a conversation like you’ve known each other for years. (Dolly! Call me! We’ll do lunch.)
 
Brooke White, America’s Sweetheart, is up first in the Spot of Death with “Jolene”. It’s her and few other musicians on the stage. She’s captivating and warm, as always. The scaled back orchestration works very well with her voice, and the emotion of the song shines through. As nice as Brooke is, I think she would put a major beat down on anyone that tried to steal her man.
 
David Cook is next with “Little Sparrow”. At least he finally fessed up to ripping off all his arrangements so far this season… till tonight that is. This one is all his own. (David got his hair cut, but somehow he has a clump of hair right in the center of his head sticking straight up like a cockatoo.) Unfortunately, again, he did an amazing job. Except I don’t like his falsetto as much as he does. By the time he gets to the last note, it betrays him completely. Oh well. He and his smug self will be around for a long time to come.
 
Ramiele is third with “Do I Ever Cross Your Mind?”. She’s moving around and, thanks to the song, she’s able to put some emotion and energy into her performance, but because 1/3 of the song is in the lower register, she mumbles a lot and some things are too low for her to enunciate. Ramiele has lost a good bit of her star quality, but thanks to the last half of the song, this was a major improvement over last week. Simon said he wouldn’t remember this in 10 years. Heck, I barely remembered it 10 seconds later. I don’t see her making it much longer.
 
Jason Castro is the next one to the stage with “Travelin’ Thru”. He isn’t going too far out of his comfort zone or straining his vocal range in the least… but, like Ramiele, this was an improvement. This wasn’t the big week that he needed, but it was better. Unfortunately, our Idol Muppet may be ‘travelin’ thru’ to the Bottom 3.
 
Carly Smithson is performing “Here You Come Again”. This song showcases Carly’s amazing vocal abilities. I didn’t hear one wrong note… her strongest performance in weeks. Definitely enough to keep her out of the Kristy Lee Cook Trio.
 
David Archuleta, singing “Smokey Mountain Memories”, follows Carly. He has a knack for picking the most emotional power ballads available, doesn’t he? (And I swear, if the Most Pit doesn’t get in sync with their arm waving, I’m going to reach through the TV and beat them but good.) This type of song is where he shines. The tone of his voice is spectacular. I can see him selling millions of records. But I also see America tiring of him just as quickly as they did Clay Aiken.
 
Kristy Lee Cook is next. If any week is her week to shine, it is this week. Kristy is singing “The Coat of Many Colors”. Just like last week, she’s chosen an emotionally manipulative song to sing. Instead of questioning our patriotism, this time she is saying, “If you don’t vote for me, you don’t love your mother.” Country music is definitely her thing. Her tone is pleasant, but overall I could care less. I’m ready for her to go home.
 
Syesha is singing “I Will Always Love You”. Yes, for those of you who didn’t know it, Dolly did it before Whitney. (Oooh, there’s Vanna White! I also saw Top American Designer Michael Korrs from Project Runway!) Syesha is combining the simplicity of Dolly’s version with the divaness of Whitney’s version. She should have stuck with the Dolly version. Doing it this way, Syesha is able to go after the big Whitney notes, but most of those Whitney notes weren’t quite right. (Except the last two… those were pretty good.) Unfortunately, because she went for it, all people can say is “It was good, but it was no Whitney.”
 
Michael Johns has the Pimp Spot tonight. He’s closing the show with “It’s All Wrong, But It’s All Right”. He still has that Bryan Adams/David Hasslehoff vibe going on. He’s strong and powerful again this week. He’s finally coming back into his own.
 
My DVR stopped recording at this point, so I’m going to just wing it from here. For the Top 3, I’d have to say that Michael and the two Davids are safe. For the Bottom 3, it could be Ramiele, Kristy, Carly, or Jason. Should be interesting to see. Who will stay? Who will go home? Will they do “9 to 5” as the group song, or will they do “Islands in the Stream”, as I’m hoping they will? Tune in tomorrow night to find out. Same Steve Time. Same Steve Channel.

Results Show

Good Evening, America! Another week down, and another singer has to go home. Who is safe? And who will be boot-scootin’ their way to the door? Let’s find out together. This… is American Idol!
 
First off, let’s talk about some serious things. I’m sure many of you heard that David Cook was rushed to the hospital last night after the show with heart palpitations and high blood pressure. He was examined, given some medication, and released a few hours later. He’s doing fine now, but he will need to be checked again in a few days. In other David Cook news, it has been reported that his brother’s cancer has returned. Also, I’ve received word that Elliot Yamin’s mother passed away this week. If you remember her from his season, then you know she was an adorable, amazing woman who loved her son dearly. My thoughts are with David, Elliot, and their families. (See, even I can be nice once in awhile. I promise not to make a habit of it.)
 
Well, I was half right about the group song. Instead of “Islands in the Stream”, they are doing “9 to 5”. (As a fun Idol fact for everyone, this is the song Chikezie was supposed to perform this week had he made it.) I don’t care who you are, this is a fun song. Hands down, this is the best group song yet.
 
Now, we’re right in to the results. Safe or Bottom 3? First up is Michael Johns. After last night, our Aussie Idol should be safe, and he is. Next up, David Archuleta, the Tween Dream, walks right across the stage and straight to the Safety Sofa. (Okay, not really, but he might as well have.) Carly Smithson is also safe. (No big surprises so far, except to Carly.)
 
Back to the show, and back to viewer questions. So far this has proven to be hit or miss. Repeating the same action over and over again and expecting a different result may not actually be the definition for “insanity,” but it’s pretty darn stupid. This week was more of the same. Pretty boring. There goes five minutes of my life that I will never get back. Now, on to the Clark Brothers singing “This Little Light of Mine”. I will not be rushing out to iTunes to download this. It doesn’t make me want to drink a Coke, drive a Ford, or use my AT&T wireless phone either. But, it is time for my highlight of Results Night, the Ford Music Video! Tonight, the Idols are singing “It’s Tricky” while pretending to be some street-tough version of the Harlem Globetrotters. Bah, I was not impressed.
 
More results. No one in the Bottom 3 yet. David Cook is next for his results. Ryan asks about his health then sends him to safety. Ramiele walks meekly on to the stage. It’s like she could tell what was coming next, because she is in the Bottom 3. Kristy Lee Cook follows her… right over to the Bottom 3. (At least she had her note ready. There’s a reason I call it the Kristy Lee Cook Trio.)
 
We get to catch up with some of our Country Idols. Bucky Covington and his unwashed hair. Phil Stacey and his stalker eyes. Then there’s my nephew’s old favorite, Bo Bice. It’s great to see that he’s just as nice of a guy now as he was on the show.
Results again. Syesha is the first of the last 3 on to the stage, and she is safe. (I don’t like how this is going.) Jason is sent to safety, which means Brooke is in the Final Member of the Kristy Lee Cook Trio. (Not happy at all.) Do you think this is my punishment for being mean?
 
While I sit here worrying about my girl Brooke, Dolly Parton is here to perform “Jesus and Gravity” from her new cd “Backwoods Barbie”. It’s a good song, and Dolly’s a hoot!
 
I’m really nervous. (I think my stomach just ate itself.) Thankfully, Ryan ends my suffering and sends Brooke to safety!!! (I knew voting 53 times for her would pay off! Excuse me while I pause the DVR for the required Happy Dance of Joy.) Now, down to Ramiele and Kristy. (Does it really matter between these two?) But to some voters out there it must, because Kristy Lee Cook is safe and tiny, tiny Ramiele is going home. (I refuse to acknowledge the Ruben song anymore. Crap, I just did! Okay then, starting now.)
 
That’s our show for this evening. I think we all need to take a moment and realize something important. I’m going to be extremely upset with all of you if you don’t vote for Brooke next week. I don’t need her to win, but I would like her to make the Top 5. Can you do that for me, please? Thank you. Tune in next week for our Top 8 to perform some set of songs that have yet to be revealed to us. Same Steve Time. Same Steve Channel.