Good Evening, America! I don’t know about you, but I severely enjoyed the performances last night, especially Danny, Allison, and my Adam Lambert-Martin. (It almost makes me wanna be nice tonight. But not quite.) Jamie Foxx deserves credit for his work with the Idols. He was able to pull a performance out of Danny that I didn’t think was possible anymore. But enough with the blah, blah, blah. It’s time to see someone’s dreams shattered! This… is American Idol!

Seacrest tells us that we’ll have performances tonight from Jamie Foxx, Natalie Cole… and Taylor Hicks. (Well, there goes my good mood.) Seriously? Taylor Hicks? He was the least deserving person to EVER win this show. I disliked him then, and… well, that hasn’t changed.

Ford Music Video time! This week, it’s to “Energy” by The Apples. It features slow-motion running by our Idols and, of course, a Ford Fusion. I like the black and white filming with hints of color. But if they were going to do slow-motion running, I would have preferred a more “Baywatch” themed video. Mmmm hmmmm.

Group Sing time to “It Don’t Mean a Thing” and “I Got Rhythm”. Allison starts us off surrounded by her harem of guys. They missed a big chance here to have Paula choreograph another dance number ala “Swing Kids”… or they could have gotten some of last year’s contestants from “So You Think You Can Dance” to come out and play back-up dancers. That was a lot for the first 5 minutes of the show. That just means we’ll have lots of filler for the other 55 minutes. Joy. (There was some filler with a cake fight, and all I could think was “DON’T GET IT IN ADAM’S HAIR! NOT THE HAIR!”)

Results time! All 5 Idols are brought on stage. Matt is sent to the right side of the stage. (Uh-oh, I think Idol pulled a fast one and moved the Evil Final 7 Split to the Final 5.) Danny is sent to the left side of the stage. Allison is also sent to the left side of the stage. (I pick these two to be the safe group.) Kris is sent to stand by Matt. That means my Adam Lambert-Martin has to make the tough choice of which group is safe and which group is the bottom. He picks Danny/Allison and goes to stand by them (thinking they are the Top 3), but Seacrest moves him over to Matt/Kris and declares Danny/Allison safe. That means Adam is in… the Bottom 3??? WHAT??? This better be some cruel and horrible joke. I swear if my Adam is sent home…. Oh, let’s just say, Hell hath no fury like Stephen scorned.

Natalie Cole is here to perform “Something’s Gotta Give” from her album “Still Unforgettable”. If you remember, in the 90’s, she was “Unforgettable”, and now she wants everyone to know that she is still… unforgettable? I wonder if it takes anything away from the message if you have to remind people. Hmmm, ‘tis a puzzlement.

Taylor Hicks has come home to Idol. Whoever said that you can never go home again… I wish they had been right. Fast-forward.

Back to the results. Our Bottom 3: Matt, Kris, and Adam. One person is going back to safety. And that person is… Kris? Oh, someone is really testing my patience. I don’t think the Idol Producers realize the terror I will unleash upon the world if Adam is sent home.

Jamie Foxx takes the stage to perform his hit “Blame It”. I know this is his current release, but I would have preferred for him to pull out some Ray Charles and do “Georgia on My Mind”. Oh well, can’t always get what you want. Or so they say.

Back to the final results! Matt or Adam? Which one is safe? (Better be Adam.) After 47 million votes, Adam is… SAFE!!! Yay! Whew! That was waaaaaaaaaaaaay too close for my liking. So, Matt Giraud is going home, as he should, and as I predicted. As I told someone earlier today, everything works out like it should. We’re forced to listen to “My Funny Valentine” one more time, and if he had sung like this last night, it would have been even more clear cut that he was the one to go home. That was just painful.

Well, that’s our show for tonight. My heart rate is slowly returning to normal. I didn’t realize it, but for about 30 seconds there, I had stopped breathing. Idol, why do you like to torture me so? We’re now down to our Final 4. Again, I really like all of them, but if Adam doesn’t win… well, it won’t be pretty. Tune in next week for another set of possibly amazing performances with a Rock & Roll theme. Same Steve Time. Same Steve Channel.