Performance Show
Good Evening, America! Here we are… down to the final 10. Can you feel the excitement in the air? Maybe that isn’t excitement… it could be crazy. Being this close to Paula, one can never tell. Anyway. These are the singers who will be gracing the stages of half-empty arenas across the country all summer long. By the end of May, one of our hopefuls will be America’s Next Top Model. Sorry, wrong show. Ryan doesn’t have enough gadunka dunk to by Tyra. This… is American Idol!
It’s Birthday Night on Idol, meaning that the singers are choosing songs from the year they were born. That can be quite dangerous. There’s a lot of room to go wrong here. (I think hearing when they were all born is going to make me feel quite old.) We can expect a lot of comments about poor song choice. I could be wrong though, but, honestly, when has that ever been the case?
First up, Ramiele. She was born in 1987 and will be singing “Alone”. This is a big song, and she has the potential to do extremely well because she has a big voice to go with it. Ramiele has some problems with mic placement, voice going in and out. Mostly it sounded like she was shouting instead of singing. The problems with her voice could be because she was sick, which Paula reminded us as she was clapping her Catwoman Gloves. (I prefer to think that the problem was because Ramiele is dull and was overcompensating. She hasn’t been good since the first week of the Top 24.) Ramiele is the first contestant up, and she’s the first contestant to be told it wasn’t the right song choice. Depending on how the rest of the night goes, she’ll probably be in the Bottom 3, but I know she has a strong fan base, so she may be around for another week.
Jason Castro is next. Also born in 1987, he and his deep blue eyes will be singing “Fragile”. Tonight is his birthday, so hopefully he does well and his birthday present can be that he sticks around. The guitar is back this week, and it works. He was very chill and definitely in his element. Reminded me a lot of a coffee house performance, but I liked it anyway. Next week, he needs to step up his game. After his performance during the Top 24, I keep waiting for another moment of pure magic.
Syesha was also born in 1987. (I’m starting to see a trend developing.) She’s singing “If I Were Your Woman”. Take a note, Ramiele. This is how it is done. If you’re going to stand there and sing a power ballad, then you need to put emotion behind what you’re singing. And Syesha did just that. Two weeks in a row, she’s done great performances. After a few missteps, she’s back on her game, and in a very big way.
Chikezie is our 4th singer of the evening. He doesn’t do much for me. (It has nothing to do with the fact that I’m still holding a slight grudge about the Danny Noriega vote.) Chikezie was born in 1985, and he’s doing “If Only for One Night”. Another ballad. The mosh pit is definitely getting to wave their arms till their heart’s content. This wasn’t as good as Syesha, but definitely better than Ramiele. (That’s not saying much though.) Is it his time to go home yet? I’m bored with him. I’ve recently discovered that the opposite of love is not hate. It’s indifference. And I’m definitely indifferent when it comes to Chikezie.
Brooke White, America’s Sweetheart, was born in 1983. She’s singing “Every Breath You Take” and is back in front of the piano this week. She had a small false start, quickly recovered, and started over. I didn’t like it when the band came in halfway through the song. I would have preferred that it were just her. The first half was phenomenal, and that’s the Brooke I love. It needs to be said that being a successful recording artist isn’t just about radio play. Norah Jones and Josh Groban have sold millions of records and won numerous Grammy’s, but they aren’t going to get a lot of Top 40 play. Brooke White is not mainstream, and she doesn’t have to be. She truly is the Carly Simon for a new generation.
Michael Johns is next. He was born in 1978. (Finally, someone older than me.) Michael is back in top form this week. The lighting is great. The band is on fire. He’s got energy and passion. This is the Michael that has been missing the past few weeks. Just like Syesha, he’s back, and he’s amazing! David Archuleta is somewhere backstage quaking in his Weeboks.
Carly Smithson (named after Carly Simon) was born in 1983. She’s doing one of my all-time favorites songs, “Total Eclipse of the Heart”. The tone is right. Her voice is on. The backup singer is perfect. This is how it should be done. (Randy is on crack.) There should be no reason for her to be in the Bottom 3 this week after that performance.
David Archuleta, the Tween Dream, was born in 1990. He’s singing “You’re the Voice”. I don’t think I’m familiar with this song. 1990 was the middle of the Paula Abdul obsession, and my brother was listening to rap music, so this song didn’t register on either of our radars. I can’t deny that he has an amazing voice, but this felt like the finale to some ill-conceived, let’s hug the world After-School Special. David’s strength lies in power ballads. I thought he realized a few weeks ago that up-tempo songs were not for him. Obviously not. No matter what I say, 25 million screaming 12 year old girls are still going to vote for him.
Kristy Lee Cook, my new favorite train wreck, is next. She was born in 1984. She’s singing “God Bless the USA”. Seriously? Is she that hard up for votes that she has to pull out the patriotic song? She’s effectively saying, “If you don’t vote for me, you hate America”. No, honey, I love America. I just hate you. (Josh Gracin did it better back in old days of Idol.) The judges loved it. I was not as thrilled. Bah. This does pretty much put the nail in Ramiele’s coffin though.
David Cook is our final contestant of the evening. The baby photo of him they showed before the break was quite frightening. It made Icky Elliot (before the new teeth) look like a Top Model. Seriously, they couldn’t have found a better picture? It looked like he was constipated on strained peas. Anyway. He was born in 1982. David is singing “Billy Jean”. Not the Michael Jackson version, of course. I hate to say this… more than you can possibly imagine… but that was phenomenal. I was blown away. It was brilliant. Ugh, that was painful to admit. I still don’t like him personally, and you can’t make me.
Well, that’s our show for tonight. Taking the top spots are are David Cook and Michael Johns. Falling somewhere in the middle are Syesha, Brooke White, David Archuleta, Carly, Jason Castro, and Kristy Lee Cook. Hanging out in the bottom rung are Ramiele and Chikezie with one of the middle, probably Carly Smithson, joining them in the Bottom 3. But it all depends on how America votes. With only a few stellar performances and a lot of mediocrity, the Bottom 3 could be very surprising. We’ll just have to wait and see. Same Steve Time. Same Steve Channel.
Results Show
Good Evening, America! Here we are again. It’s the end of the road for one of our contestants. But as we all know by now, we’re not gonna get there for another hour. So sit back, get comfortable, and enjoy the filler. This… is American Idol!
Our Top 10, with a preview of what the tour will look like, are doing a group song medley. The horrible choreography is back. Some of them definitely have more natural rhythm than others. Jason Castro looks like he should be dancing with the Brady Bunch. (It’s a sunshine day!) He makes Brooke White look like a Fly Girl. Did anyone else spot David Hernandez and Danny Noriega in the audience behind the judges? Nice to see David could take some time off from his busy stripping schedule to come back and see his old friends.
We’re now treated to a package showing how the Idols record their songs every week so it can be downloaded on iTunes. In truth, it’s just a big commercial for iTunes. Yes, if you didn’t know, you can download the performances every week on iTunes. That’s right. iTunes. And iTunes is best experienced if you are drinking a Coke and making a call on your AT&T wireless phone while driving the Ford vehicle of your choice.
Time to start the results. Will it be the Safety Couch or the Terror Stools? First up, Chikezie. With him being first, that means he’s safe… but he’s not. He’s in the Bottom 3! (Maybe I’m not indifferent to him after all. I felt great joy when he got sent over to the stools.) Brooke White, America’s Sweetheart, is up next. Thankfully, she’s safe for another week! (Yay! Oh happy day!) Carly wants us to know she isn’t pregnant. Ryan wants us to know that she’s safe. (Now that my girls are safe, I could care less who goes home, but it would make it a perfect night if Jason Castro, Michael Johns, and Syesha were safe as well. Yes, I’ve picked my favorites. Everyone else no longer ranks.)
Time for the Ford Music Video of the week to “I Want You to Want Me”. T-shirts, CD’s, and posters come to life with images of our finalists singing. Jason Castro thinks it’s all part of some horrible psychedelic trip and runs off the stage screaming. (Okay, so that didn’t happen, but it would have been fun.) The commercial is cheese-tastic! I love it.
Back to the results. David Archuleta is up. They should just let him walk right to the couch, because he’s safe. (Big shock there.) David Cook, the Comb Over King, is safe as well. (Blah) Syesha, unfortunately, is joining Chikezie in the Bottom 3. Michael Johns, the Aussie Idol, is safe. (Big shock there too.)
Time for Calls from the Fans. Things we learned this week: Chikezie is single. David Archuleta honestly liked the song he chose last night. (Seriously?) Simon thinks it wouldn’t take much talent for someone to replace Ryan. (They need to just kiss and get it over with.) Brooke wants to do a duet with John Mayer. (Good choice.) And finally, Simon would never say that he’s the most attractive person on the show… he’d let other people say it for him. Hmmm, not as much fun as last week.
Kimberley Locke is here to perform for us. Besides performing, Kimberley has opened her own restaurant and lost 40 lbs. (Those two facts are not related.) She’s singing “Fall” from her new cd “Based on a True Story”. It’s a really strong ballad that showcases her amazing vocal abilities. Hmmm, I think I need to download her cd from iTunes. Yes, iTunes. Did you know that you can download this season’s Idol performances on iTunes? Just checking.
Once more to the results. Ramiele, wearing Jennifer Beales’ wardrobe from Flashdance, is safe. (You have to be kidding me with this.) Now it’s down to Jason Catro and Kristy Lee Cook. (It better be Kristy. It’s only fitting that Kristy Lee Cook join the Kristy Lee Cook Trio.) America has voted, and Kristy is safe. (Not happy.)
That means our Bottom 3 are Jason Castro, Syesha, and Chikezie. (It should have been Chikezie, Ramiele, and Kristy.) While Jason rambles about his nervousness, Ryan sends him back to the couches and to safety. Down to Syesha and Chikezie. The panel is split on who should go home. America is not. Syesha is safe. Chikezie is going home. (And behind Simon, Danny Noriega does a happy dance for finally getting his vindication.) Ugh, it’s that damn Ruben song again.
Well, that’s all for this week. I’m oh so happy with the results! It’s like America has been reading my blog. Can we try for Kristy Lee Cook or Ramiele next week? Thank you in advance. Next week, rumor has it, will be country week with living legend Dolly Parton. What kind of cover will David Cook find for that? Will Kristy sail through? Will David Archuleta’s father have him sing “Islands in the Stream” as a solo? Find out next week. Same Steve Time. Same Steve Channel.