American Idol – Final 7 (Results Show) Redux


Good Evening, America! Here we are again. No, it’s not déjà vu, we’re at the exact same place we were last Wednesday. 7 hopefuls vying for stardom, but someone must go home. Correction, this week 2 someone’s must go home. After last week’s use of the Judge’s Save, 2 of our wannabe’s will sing their swan song and exit stage left. Will there be tears? Will Paula end up as a big Pool of Abdul? Tonight could prove to be the most shocking double elimination in the most dramatic Rose Ceremony EVER. (Big sweeping hand motion.) Let’s find out. This… is American Idol!

Ryan wishes us all a Happy Earth Day and says that the finale will use all ‘green’ power. Ryan, that begs the question, what about all the other elimination shows? How is that power generated? In my mind, I see Megan Joy backstage, flapping her arms and making bird sounds while running as fast as she can on a giant hamster wheel hooked up to a generator.

The Group Sing this week is choreographed by Idol Judge, Ms. Paula Abdul. (I’ve been saying for weeks that they should have her do this.) Say what you will about her, but the girl can dance. The Idols are singing “Shake Your Body” by the Jackson 5 while decked out in outlandish 70’s attire. Danny and Anoop look like actual pimps, Lil is rocking the white boots, Adam Lambert Martin has invoked John Travolta. I’m so entertained right now, I could care less how bad they are lip-synching, and trust me, it’s pretty bad. The choreography is fantastic, and it’s easy to tell which Idols have natural dance ability and which ones don’t. This was fun and should be a lesson to the producers that if they are going to make us watch a Group Sing, the least they could do is entertain us.

Time for the Ford Music Video to the song “I’m Good, I’m Gone”. There’s a whole bunch of stuff going on: bakers, construction workers, dog washers. In the end, they all leave their day jobs and go to a café for open mic night where they are looking for singers. It was over pretty fast, and that was a good thing. After the wonderfully campy magic show, this was just a HUGE let down.

Results! Lil Rounds is first. She seems completely over it, and America does too, because after a little pomp and a little less circumstance, Lil is eliminated. Wow. I’m not shocked that she’s gone (totally expected that), but I’m shocked that she’s gone at 8:15. Lil Rounds sings herself out, and honestly, she looks relieved, and she sings better than she has in weeks. Definitely a classy way to go out.

Time for a Disco Medley. I’m sure it was lovely, and I’m sure you’d like to hear my thoughts on it, but I’m pressed for time. So… Fast Forward. Okay, a few comments. Freda’s performance was rough at best. Would have preferred to hear Kimberly Locke singing it. Thelma Houston looked like a cracked out Big Bird. Honestly, who dressed her? And was anyone else shocked to find out that KC (from KC & the Sunshine Band, not to be confused with Casey at the Bat) was white?

Back to the results. Kris Allen – safe. Adam Lambert-Martin – safe. (Yay!) Danny Gokey – safe. (No surprises so far.) Anoop Desai is the next member of our Bottom 3, as he should be. Down to Matt and Allison. One is safe, and the other joins Anoop for possible elimination. And the last person in our Bottom 3 is… Allison? Oh noooooooooooooooo! I don’t like this at all.

Supposedly David Archuletta performed, but for some reason my DVR refused to stop fast forwarding. It has a mind of its own.

The Moment of Truth. Anoop or Allison. (Please let Allison be safe.) After a record-breaking 45 million votes, the 2nd person going home tonight is… Anoop Desai!!! Yay! Wow, I totally called both eliminations tonight. I’m so good it’s scary sometimes.

The right people went home, but it was too close for Allison for my liking. We’re down to the Final 5, and that’s our show for tonight. So come on back next week to this locality, to have a heapin’ helpin’ of their hospitality. Idol that is. Same Steve Time. Same Steve Channel.

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