Good Evening, America! It’s Wednesday night, and that means it’s once again time to gather and watch as one hopeful’s dreams are crushed and left to die in front of 30 million people. Someone who has bared their soul for the entire country must now walk away without even a lifetime’s supply of Rice-a-Roni. You can almost guarantee there will be tears. Awww, it’s heartwarming when you think about it. Let the dream crushing commence. This… is American Idol!
Before we get to anything important, Ryan shows us a video of some guy from the year Simon was born. If I didn’t know better, I would think it was Frankie Avalon. (You know, of Frankie and Annette.) Whoever it is comes out to sing, and I still don’t know for sure who it is. Ahh, thank you, Ryan. It was Frankie Avalon. (Yes, I am just that good.) And this whole waste of 5 minutes was just to prove that Simon will be turning 50 soon. Thanks, Idol. There’s 5 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.
For our Group Sing, the Idols are doing a song from the year American Idol was born, 2002. They’re singing “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” by Kylie Minogue. (I played this cd constantly my senior year in college.) If I didn’t know better, I would think they weren’t lip-synching tonight… I wonder if I could convince the producers to just let Adam and Allison sing and have the rest do backup vocals? Oooh, Adam just flubbed some lyrics… Oh my, they are live! I’d like to think that the reason for the live performance is because of my scathing review of last week’s lip-synch. But just like how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop… the world may never know.
Apparently just watching the Ford Music Video isn’t enough. No. The producers have decided that we need a behind-the-scenes look at it as well. Is it just me, or do Adam and Allison look completely normal in their Vaudeville costumes? Everyone else… not so much. Now for the real music video to “Circus” by Britney Spears. It’s like a magic show where Ford cars disappear and reappear. What… a whirlwind. This is the type of campy stuff that I expect from these videos. It is truly camptastic, and I love it!
Time for the results. Adam Lambert-Martin, Kris Allen, and Anoop Desai are all asked to stand. My Adam is, of course, safe! (Yay!) Kris is safe, but Anoop is in the Bottom 3. I’m not shocked that Kris is safe, but Anoop had a good night last night. Maybe his inconsistency finally came back to bite him?
Before more results, we are treated to Flo Rida’s sampling of a classic 80’s song. Yes, to all those people who weren’t alive in the 80’s, he did not come up with this chorus on his own. I do love his song “Right Round” as Brady can attest, because I scream it at the top of my lungs every time it comes on when we’re in the car together.
Back to the results. Who will be next to join Anoop on the Stools of Sorrow? Danny is, not shockingly, safe. Matt Giraud is also safe, as he should be after last night’s incredible performance. Scott “Pity Vote” MacIntyre is blessedly the 2nd person in the Bottom 3! (I’m loving these results so far!) Allison and Lil are the last ones to hear their results, and for a change of pace, Allison is safe, and Lil, for the first time this season, is in the Bottom 3. Now that our Bottom 3 is complete with Anoop, Pity Vote, and Lil, Simon ominously says that they may choose to use the Judge’s Save on one of them.
Kelly Pickler, the darling of Season 5, has returned to American Idol to sing her latest hit for us. Her newly acquired “assets” aren’t as obvious tonight as they were last season when she had just purchased them. I kinda hate to admit it, but once I took the time to listen to the words, I actually like this song.
Here we are again. The Bottom 3: Anoop, Lil, and Scott. The person sent back to safety is… Lil! Good. I wasn’t ready for her to go yet. Hopefully this will be a wake-up call for her that she needs to step up her game. After the commercial, we find out that the person with the lowest number of votes is… Scott!!! What? I thought this day would never come! Oh, the joy! Before I can get too excited, Scott has to “Sing for his Life”. Again, I think someone read my blog, because he is performing sans electric guitar and leather jacket. While Pity Votes sings away, it looks like the judges are actually deliberating on whether to save him. Until he attempted to hit that high note, that is. Or maybe not, Simon says the vote is split 50/50. (I’m on pins and needles here. They better not save him. There are more talented people still left in this competition.) Paula and Kara (earning personal scorn from me) make a case for Pity Vote to stay. Thankfully, Simon sends Scott packing. As time runs out and the credits begin to roll, Paula takes a rare Season 8 spin on “Paula’s Wheel of Random Emotion” and lands on a personal favorite of mine: Rambling Tears.
Well, that’s our show tonight. I’m sure most of you are thinking that I’m 100% excited about the results tonight. And you’d be 99.9% correct. As thoroughly happy as I am to see Scott “Pity Vote” MacIntyre leave the completion, reality has set in for me, and I know that I lost my #1 target for snarky comments and biased criticism this season. Fingers crossed that someone else steps up (or falls down) next week, and I have a new victim for my wrath. Let’s find out together. Same Steve Time. Same Steve Channel.